1 Week of Biochemo DONE

This was written from the hospital before we came home...

That was.... interesting? I've said before that many weeks of my life were a blur - This last week was completely a blur. Ativan is pleasant hehe. My wife is an angel. My doctors and nurses are heaven sent. I feel a ton of love. I'm fortunate to be young and healthy. I basically just remember being tired. I would roll over and find a comfy spot and go to sleep. To start the week, they came in and hooked me up to a monster looking IV pole. At one point the pole had 16 IV bags on it. The pic below is when my nurse was first setting it up (looked more like a battle than a medical procedure). Got to practice my Chinese again with this wonderful nurse (she was so sweet and came back and visited us even when she wasn't our nurse).

After she set it all up, she then told me she was turning it all on. Dacarbazine, Vinblastin, and Cisplatin (all Chemo drugs), Interleukin-2 (biotherapy drug), and Ativan all came that first night (and the Interferon - biotherapy - was a shot in my stomach). I didn't feel any pain as the IV's started, but about two hours into the process, I remember feeling an awful sensation run through my body. I rolled over towards my wife, groaned and moaned and snuggled up next to her - yes we shared our tiny little twin bed for a week (I told you, she's an angel). Honestly, that is as awful as it got. Other times I remember feeling some nausea (I think they'd ask me if I was feeling any nausea and I was).... but mostly I was just completely out of it.... kind of a drug induced roll over and find a comfy spot kind of dream. I was cold some... I do remember getting the chills at one point and shaking uncontrollably and they had to give me some demorall to control that. I do remember often times coming to it enough to look at my wife and feel so much gratitude that she was there and so supportive and loving. I think I even told her that a few times. Every night for 5 nights they would give me the Interferon as a shot in my stomach - I laughed when Hong, the nurse,  gave it to me the first time cause she pinched my stomach so hard that the shot didn't even hurt. Smart. Sun Tzu - The art of deception :).

As I look back on the experience (and especially as I look forward to the 5 additional weeks of this over the next 4 months), I think I need to be careful not to mischaracterize it as not a big deal, but rather I feel I was comforted and held in a loving embrace in a time of need. As I sit here pondering the experience and how to describe it - before the treatment, my sweet intuitive mother was blessed with a peaceful assurance that someone would be with me during this time. This happened. Many people have told me that others beyond the grave are standing ready to assist. I felt it strongly this last week. I'm brought to tears of gratitude as this realization hits me fully right now. Maybe my older brother Timmy, my sister in law Susan, my mother in law Lynne, my grandpa Albrechtsen, or possibly my namesake Great Grandpa Parker. As I write that last one, the tears roll freely.

Short story tied to that one. My mom and dad actually agreed on my name as John Eric when I was born (actually listed on my birth certificate for 10 days). As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) we are then blessed in church by someone holding the priesthood and given a name and a blessing. Usually it is a restating of the name that was put on your birth certificate in the hospital. My father (unbeknownst to my mom) changed my name when he pronounced that blessing. Calling me John Parker - my great grandfathers name. My father felt guided by the spirit to make this change. Afterwards, in doing some research he found out that Grandpa John Parker and I share the same birthday. He actually passed away on a freak accident about 2 years older than I am currently, 38. I feel comfort in that story when I have only felt confusion and a little wonder before. Family history, genealogy and our roots matter deeply.

I am not a superstitious person, but I have come to believe deeply in some things. There are purposes and reasons behind the things that happen in our lives. Every once in awhile we are blessed with a glimpse of that. It shines so brightly now as to take my breath away and make me gaze up in awe as if I can see the very face of God.   

I am very blessed.

So I actually feel pretty good right now. They say the next five days should be the hardest. Hard to eat. Nausea. No energy. Etc. We'll see. I can't wait to get home to see the kids. We have a flight in 3 hours.

Thank you so much for the prayers and the support and love. Obviously I'm feeling them. We are set for the second round of this treatment on August 21.

I do seem to have some small issue with my liver that the doctors are watching closely and trying to figure out what's going on. They ran a few more tests and should have some results in about a week.

When we go home, I need to be as active as I'm able, try to eat as much as possible, and try to rest. I will have blood drawn 2 x per week to make sure all is well. I guess about 1 week from now is when my immune system will be at it's lowest so I'll have to be cautious with that.