So I actually completed the last of the biochemo meds earlier today. The treatment time was ok this time - actually a little harder than I remembered from the first time. As more time passes, the more I forget. I pleasant side effect of the Ativan. I am doing well and healthy. They had to keep me on a drip to clear out my kidneys. Other than that my organs seem to be responding well. I'm super fatigued this time which is a bit surprising. I felt better going into this treatment than I did the first time but I think the cumulative effect of the meds is being felt. It will probably get progressively more difficult, but hopefully not devastatingly so.
I'm just laying here in the hospital bed. Kristin is bustling around the room getting ready for our flight tomorrow. I feel comfortable - when I have the meds right this is not too awful of an experience. We have a plan for the meds tomorrow. Last time when we flew I didn't take anything - we were afraid that I'd pass out and then Kristin couldn't work with me getting on and off the plane. This time we have a better understanding of the meds. Everyone has said that its so important to stay on top of your meds - I didn't really understand that last time as all of the meds I took with me were PRN (as needed) meds and I didn't understand what I was feeling. I just felt awful - I didn't equate it to nausea or itching or anything. So I basically didn't take the meds. Not smart on my part. Hopefully, the place ride tomorrow is much more pleasant (SLEEP!!) and we can get through it ok. Dale dropped us off at the airport and will be picking us up tomorrow. That should be a big help.
Kara and her family has been with the kids again. So amazing her service. We are very blessed.
Anyways, just wanted to get a quick update out. I'm alive and doing well. Really nervous about the next 4-5 days but I think we've got a plan to deal with it. Can't wait to see the kids!!!! I always miss them so much.
Had a visit from Celeste and Rich on Saturday. It was awesome! I think I was a little out of it so if I drooled or said anything silly, my apologies. Such a beautiful family and we loved spending some time with them. That's a 10-11 hour round trip drive - no small sacrifice. Makes me feel loved.
Grateful for my savior Jesus Christ. As I was a little more coherent this time I was able to ponder more about His suffering and His love. Something deeply humbling to be able to have our small little trials and heartaches and to be tie them back to him and know that he cares so much about me individually. So grateful to know that.
Good night. I'll try not to wait so long to update :)
It's so good to finally hear from you John! I have been checking your blog quite often and am always disappointed when I don't see an update. Our prayers are continually with you and you are included in our fasts. We also put your name in the temple each time we go. You are loved and we are here for you!! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteWow John, I am speechless. I just found your blog on Facebook and read the whole thing. I just love you and your family so much!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could share the feelings I am having in my heart with you, but I know I could not convey them in writing.
I love this Gospel so much and it is always amazing to me how we are able to handle the very worst of conditions with faith, peace, healing, love, hope, and charity.
I have had some of the very same experiences as you...Those tender mercies during some of the worst hours of my life. I too have felt those loved ones beyond the veil helping me when I needed them most. It is amazing, isn't it? That we can have our darkest hardest hours, and yet feel so much love and peace! I am so glad you are experiencing these "gifts" of mortality.
I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through this trial. I am also so grateful to see you turning to the Lord and helping others to do so on your way.
I love you and Kristen even though it has been such a short amount of time that I have really known you guys. We are here for you. We are praying and fasting for you. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help.
Thank you for being an inspiration as to how to live life to the fullest even amidst trials.
As I read your blog this favorite quote of mine kept running through my head. You are an example of this to me - “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.” Orson F. Whitney
Natalie Postl